I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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