Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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