Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
