Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
