Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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