why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
