She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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