Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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