Its about making memories worth repressing
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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