What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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