were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
