dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
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