I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
