anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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