best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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