i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
