Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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