Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
