how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
