The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
