i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
