MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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