I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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