Dual....:-)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
where are you?
Hypothermia
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i am craving dick and cupcakes
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
