Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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