Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
