dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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