I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
