I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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