It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
