who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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