respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
