By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
