Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
That accounts for only three of the penises
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
