in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
