OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize