so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
