he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
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I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
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And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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