Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
No subtext here. People are naked.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
