i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize