I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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