I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
