Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
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When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
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I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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