In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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