the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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