So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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