You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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