you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm at about main and main street
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
