I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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