I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize