hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
