do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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