DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I did not marry a roomba.
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