Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Found your dick twin last night
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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