i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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