so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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