I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I need to align my fucking chakras
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