I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
