yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
