my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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